Making time

Knitting was supposed to be a great way for me to relax and take time out for myself. It's not working like it used to do. My sons therapist said this week that I am not making time for myself enough because I'm still dealing with pressure of 24/7 mom-ness. 

Many mothers these days feel pressure differently, but mainly because we are expected to be available 24/7. We are pressures to be good wives, mothers AND provide an income. These pressures are found from religion, our parents, and societal influences. Today's mom is to give 100% of our lives to our family. Any consideration of time off, such a hiring a part time nanny, is seen as a luxury and an unnecessary financial burden. I think of all the ways I rebel against these ideal housewife images and stereotypes. For example, I don't hop out of bed with a smile on my face and fix breakfast. I don't spend an hour a day on makeup and hair. I even have hired a cleaner for my bathrooms and vacuuming; two things a week I don't have to do regularly. So, taking more time for myself seems like a selfish endeavor. 

But, then I start getting angry. When I do try to leave the house, there are so many obstacles. On top of that, I have to drag the children with me everywhere against their will or at uncomfortably inconvenient times (nap time, lunch time, diaper time). It's not time for myself by any means. 

Here's an interesting look at how much I should be getting paid

www.salary.com/2013%2Dmom%2Dinfographics

 

Uh... What just happened?

Oh my, it has been a year since I blogged anything. What's new? Tommy! He is one year old now and weighs in at a whopping 25 pounds. He had an easy time arriving and has been an equally pleasant addition to our family.  He makes few demands and poops a lot.  In Facebook there are a large number of pictures available to view, but here are some that aren't;

Booting up and checking in..

Happy St. Patrick's!


Today I get to wear my cute new Neko kitty shirt. Later we'll have the traditional fare, but for now I'm resting and knitting. Only seven more weeks left on the clock for big T's birthday and we are far from prepared. The room still needs paint. The closet still needs an organizational makeover. The crib isn't assembled. The car seat is still covered with dust in the garage. At least I'm finished with school after this week, so I'll have time to do stuff.

Ugh! That rest period was short lived....just heard the garage door open which means the boys are back from ye olde Costco. Time to cook...



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Longs Peak Cir,Windsor,United States

Photo Card

Candy Cane Stripes Christmas

Customize your Christmas cards this holiday at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

Nostalgic for our little house

While sifting through my sent files from yahoo I found this set of pictures:






My memory of this was so vague. Ben was only a year and a half old here, because the email was dated 6/18/08. I'm glad I saved this. Who knows where it may be on my hard drive. After finals are over I'm planning to work on the scrap books. It has been a long time since I did anything in those.

These pictures also remind me of what a handful a baby boy can be. Our next child will be a boy, so I get to look forward to more precious moments like these.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Lazy weekend

Cyber Monday starts tomorrow and I can't believe we have to return to our previous routines. Only the exception for me is that I have two papers to complete by Thursday and then I'm off until mid-January.

Sad news on Saturday from my mother-in-law. Her dog passed away while visiting the vet for pain management. She was a sweet dog and will be missed.

We are still feeding on the remnants of our thanksgiving feast. The last of the bacon went into a salad, while most of the dark meat from the bird was made into soup on Saturday. As a reprieve from this we visited Qdoba Mexican food tonight. It helps the diet and at this point I'm fighting to stay under 245.

Tuesday we go to Denver for a 3d ultrasound. It is a follow up for my downs and cps testing, but all tests so far have been 'phenomenal' according to the testing facility. The nurse even asked me if we had used donor eggs because the numbers in the results were way above what they normally would expect for a pregnancy at my age. I think it is because I sit on my butt too much doing homework and knitting.

Anyway, that's it for tonight. Will post again after Tuesday.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Longs Peak Cir,Loveland,United States

Wahoo!

Tried this fish taco place for the first time today. Pretty good, but the baby might not like the spicy sauce. I ordered an outer reef burrito with fish, brown rice and black beans. But, I also got it 'wet' which may kill me.


This week I had glucose testing. Yuck! I took Ben with me and he was so well behaved that I'm considering allowing him to visit me while I'm in labor.

What else? I've finished all my thanksgiving shopping. Even though the tradition is to surround yourself with family we just never get that option anymore. Ota and I are growing our own, so maybe future thanksgivings will be more festive and full of visitors.
Turkey will be a bacon smothered affair. Accompanied with pear cider gravy, mashed potatoes, standard stuffing, and a new green bean casserole with cheese and crackers all up in it. Forgoing the usual pie baking, I ordered ours this year from Perkins restaurant. One pumpkin cream and one pecan.

Let's hope next year we have more family and friends to help eat all this good food!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Colorado 68,Fort Collins,United States

Underwear on the head

Ben was a little TOO excited wen JP picked up the kids today. He took some underwear, put it on his head, and ran around screaming, 'CHASE ME.' We had to catch him to get this picture. Crazy boy...




Sent from my iPhone


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

No cat carrier? No problem!

Our carrier was run over a while back and we haven't replaced it yet. Thankfully, Lilly is the only cat that has had to go to the vet lately. She is happy to sit in my lap for this. Also, it is freezing!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Ben's Birthday, Snow and Halloween Photos

For all of you eagerly awaiting more pictures of Ben (and family) we have downloaded the contents of our camera tonight.  Below, we have various shots of Ben's 5th birthday, snow, and Halloween....

During pizza everyone got into blowing these noiseless things (do they have a name?)

Ben's lego cake w/ real legos

Relighting the candle after Ben's buddy Cameron blew it out before we sang the song. Notice my slightly disgruntled expression which I thought I had hidden well.  Oh well.

Singing!

Presents and...

More Presents

Ben is helping daddy paint and reseal the door frame to the backyard.

 Last week's snow and the adventure cats:

Optimus finds the dry spot

 

Edna wonders where her bunnies are

Further adventures in carving: 

Mine is the extra happy pumpkin behind Ota

Ben designed his own pumpkin

Our future dancing astronaut

The astronaut among the pumpkin lights

Pumpkins meet their makers

Carving time!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:County Road 60,Windsor,United States

Crazy dreams begin again

My pregnancy just moved into the second trimester! Yeah! The chances of miscarriage have dropped significantly. Queasy days are slow to leave though, so I still haven't gained any weight.

Last night I had a crazy dream that Ota kept abandoning me in weird places. As the dream began, we left Ben at home, apparently by himself. We drove over to Salinas to visit his sister because she just had another baby. When we got there he convinced Helena (his sis) that I could watch the baby while she went to work. This was when it started getting weird because he then had us all get in the suburban to go get the windshield repaired. There was nothing wrong with the windshield. He drove us to this East Indian theme park where you went on hiking trips and ate spicy food. He walked with me to the front door and said to go on in and he'd meet me later. He had to get the truck fixed. The baby was in the truck.
Feeling abandoned, I joined a group that was heading for a train. Two women shoved me and when I turned to tell at them I shoved them back. They just apologized and asked me to sit with them. We traveled to a tented area for lunch. On the way to the tent I stopped and looked around for Ota. That was when I was attacked by eagles. They ripped off my pants and pooped in my hair. I showed up to the tent a mess. I needed to call Ota an tell him, but I had no cell phone. Apparently no one did. That was when I began to search the park for him frantically. I took an escalator to the area for boat repair and couldn't find the car repair area. I started yelling for him, but no one answered. That was when I woke up.

Weird though the dream was, I believe it displayed some fears I have about this baby. The biggest fear is that I will be completely alone and unable to get to a hospital.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Ultrasound week 9

Two pictures today of my lovely children.




Ben turns five on thursday next week. It is so hard to believe that little bitty baby grew up so fast. These school pictures never look right though. He is always so pale and his lips get really red.



The baby was very wiggly this morning. I saw her/him move hands and feet. It was like the baby was doing a little dance just for me.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Longs Peak Cir,Loveland,United States

Eight weeks

This morning we got to see the beginnings of our baby. Our due date is Ota's birthday. So, I get another Taurus in my life.



The extra hormones performed the job of fixing my miscarriage issues. I go back in two weeks for another ultrasound. At twelve weeks I get to meet with the doc about birth plans.

We are beyond exited. We aren't telling family yet, until we pass the first trimester. My family won't read this anyway, so I'm not worried they'll get this news.

Next week Ben and I will be at my mom's so I hope he manages to keep it quiet. Today he told all his teachers that he is going go have a brother. We have no idea if it is a boy or girl at this point, but we decided on names tonight.

It is so inexplicably exciting to know this one is healthy and promising. After three years of struggle, this baby is answering our prayers. Thank you, thank you, thank you lord.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:N County Road 1,Loveland,United States

Remember 9/11

Today is a day of great sadness. I remember clearly turning on the tv while getting ready for work. I didn't normally do that, but something unconsciously encouraged me to turn on the tv at six a.m.

I tuned in just in time to see the second plane hit the building. My first instinct was to sit down and listen. The more I heard the more shocked I became. At some point I changed to auto-pilot and got myself to work. Hardly anyone was there. The four of us in the back room of the law library who did show checked the news regularly throughout the day.

Being on the west coast, none of us knew anyone in those towers. But, all of us felt that we should do something. Anything. Those of us who could afford it went online and donated to red cross. We were thankful that so many officers and firefighters from local units left immediately to assist.

Today, though the memories are still sad and disturbing, we see unity in our nation due to this event. Thank you to all who helped those people and their families. The true patriots.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Longs Peak Cir,Loveland,United States

Dreaming of Ramsey

The wacky pregnancy dreams have already started. I dreamed I won a spot on the next Hell's Kitchen and was totally lost. There was a part of the show that they don't air, which apparently was a classroom where all the contestant learn the recipes for the season. I tried sitting in the back and dropped my cell phone which shattered into a million pieces. Ramsey decides he really likes me behind the scenes and let's me know he is going to call me stupid cow a few times, but not to take it personally.

I woke up while trying to memorize the grill times for cooking a filet steak medium rare vs. well done.

Ota had joined a fantasy football league at work, but it hasn't increased his love of football. We haven't watched any full games today. Tomorrow is Broncos vs. Raiders, so maybe that will be good.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Longs Peak Cir,Loveland,United States

Birthdays abound!

Today was Marley and Sutton's birthday party. Here's some pix:









What a great group! Can't wait for the next one.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Meadowlark Dr,Loveland,United States

Crazy Ben strikes again

While changing sheets on the master bed, Ben was curious to see if he could put both feet in the handles. Well, he could, but getting out required assistance. A small tantrum brought this to my attention.

Location:Haystack Dr,Loveland,United States

Week six

Well, I am fairly certain no one reads this blog but me. After posting regularly for three months I have received no comments. That's the sad part, but the upside if this is that I can begin my baby diary without worrying that family will read this.

Saturday we found out I am pregnant. Our first OB visit is on the 19th. My doctor already put me on extra hormones so i keep this one this time. After two miscarriages, the most recent one in February, we had lost a lot of hope.

Ben is very excited. He has wanted to be a big brother for a couple years now.

If you read this, please don't share with others. We haven't told the family yet. If we don't lose this one, then we will announce it on Christmas. And, please don't tell my sister, ever. Thanks.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Haystack Dr,Loveland,United States

Ben's a weekend warrior

Ben is missing Brent and Bryan. He spent most of the day pretending to keep me safer from terminator robots.






- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:N County Road 1,Loveland,United States